Two lessons for free
I always try to think positively. After my last game, a loss against a -100 rated youngster, this has been a hard try. But only until I realized that, in my game before, despite of having undergone a lesson, I had won all those points now lost again, except one. That is, I had two lessons costing me only one point, that is, nothing.
As White, I played my usual bishop attack against the Sicilian. I am not yet very used to it and missed an important point. All opponents have avoided the double pawn on c6 so far, and I never have played against the semi-open d-file.
White to move.
My best plan would have been castle short first and delay pawn moves in the center, waiting for Black's response. After a6, BxN and dxc6, a good plan would have been to establish a pawn outpost on e5 and to play Nb1-c3-e4 with a strong position.
Instead, I continued c2-c3, and after some more opening moves, we came to the following position.
White to move.
There is some pressure on my weak d3 pawn. My Knight is hanging. In this position, any passive move is doomed to disadvantage, but I didn't like the drawish trading on f6. I retired Ne3? and lost the game at last. Instead, I could have solved all my problems by the surprising strike Ng(f)xe5! The idea is to give the weak d3 against the strong e5 pawn, along with the trade of two Knights against Knight and Bishop. This is possible because the Queen cannot protect the lone Nh5 forever (it is chased away by f2-f4), and the lone Knight can be taken by the white Queen.
I guess I would not have had the courage to play it, but I should have considered it at least. And at the very least I should have traded on f6 and make myself familiar with the idea of a draw.